the ouch factor

It actually started with one of the opening hymns:

All the way my Savior leads me; what have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt his tender mercy, who through life has been my guide?
Heav'nly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in him to dwell;
for I know, whate'er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well;
for I know, whate'er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well.

How can I be discontent with my lot when it is my Savior who leads me? Why do I doubt His tender mercy when He's always proven Himself faithful? How can I question His love for me just because I don't have what I want or what I think I need?? How ungrateful of me and how gracious of Him to bear with me!

Then, yeah, I really should have seen it coming. After all, our pastor has been doing a series on the 10 commandments for the past 9 weeks and the tenth commandment has been the tenth commandment for, oh, I don't know...several thousand years! I should not have been caught by surprise...and yet...

The sermon title was "Covetous or Content?" and really served up the ouch factor for me. You know the ouch factor, right? It's when something hits you so close to home that you can no longer deny it's application in your life. That feeling that a sermon was written just for you. (He is an omniscient God, after all, so that may very well be the case...I wouldn't put it past Him. ;) )

"You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s." Exodus 20:17

Cancelling my subscription to Better Homes and Gardens went a long way to assisting me in not coveting homes I couldn't have (that doesn't mean that I'm perfectly content with the one I have, but I'm getting there). I don't know anyone with servants. I'm not a big fan of livestock. I really couldn't imagine having a husband better fitted to my personality, strengths and weaknesses. So, I'm in the clear, right? Wrong! It's the "anything" that condemns me. That includes so much! It's all the "if onlys" I tell myself so often. If only I didn't work in an office but could stay home... If only I were a mom... If only I had her business sense... If only I could speak/write/cook/bake/scrapbook like her...

What then? Oh, I'd be content! I'd have no complaints! Right? Wrong, again! John Rockefeller was once asked the question "How much money is enough?" His answer is so very telling: "Just a little bit more." You see, I'd be just as discontent even with all the things I think I need to be happier, because it's not the externals but the internals that dictate contentment. It's all about focus. When I'm focused on what I don't have, it's all I see...and no matter how much I do have there will always be so much more than I don't have. However, when my fucus is on my Savior, His sacrifice for me and how I can serve Him in thanksgiving...everything else is icing on the cake!